“Why Do I Feel Sadder Now Than I Did Before?”

“Why Do I Feel Sadder Now Than I Did Before?”

It’s something I hear often—but usually only in quiet, vulnerable moments:

“It’s been a couple years. Shouldn’t I be past this?”

“The sadness is deeper now than when it first happened.”

“Everyone else has moved on. Why haven’t I?”

If that sounds like you, please know this:

You are not broken.

You are not grieving “wrong.”

And you are absolutely not alone.

In the early days of loss, there is often shock, structure, and support. People check in. Routines are disrupted. There is space—at least briefly—to fall apart. But as time passes, the world expects you to return to “normal,” even when your inner world has been completely rearranged.

Sometimes, it’s not until months or even years later that the real grief emerges—quietly, powerfully, without warning. You may find yourself missing them in new ways. You may feel the fatigue of carrying your sadness in silence. You may be surprised by how much it still hurts.

This is grief, too.

Not the part that gets sympathy—but the part that asks for healing.

And maybe for you, the loss is still fresh. The world may feel unrecognizable. You might be overwhelmed by the fog of early grief, unsure how to move forward—or even how to breathe.

Whether your loss is recent or years old, your grief is valid, and so is your need for support.

This is the heart of my work. I help people navigate grief in all its forms—early, delayed, complicated, quiet, overwhelming.

If you’re ready for tools, support, and space to feel your way through this chapter, I offer:

• The Mindful Grief Toolkit – a paid digital resource filled with grounding practices, reflection prompts, and calming techniques to support you when the weight feels too heavy to carry alone.

• Self-Paced Grief Courses – including Navigating Grief and others, these courses offer compassionate guidance you can return to again and again, on your schedule, from wherever you are.

• 1-on-1 Private Support Sessions – personalized, heart-centered sessions to help you feel seen, understood, and supported—no matter how much time has passed.

🎯 Book Your Initial Session →

Grief doesn’t operate on a timeline. And healing doesn’t mean forgetting.

It means learning to live with loss in a way that honors your love—and supports your life.

If you’re feeling the ache of it—now, again, or still—I invite you to take a step toward support.

You don’t have to do this alone.

Yasemin

When the Heart Breaks Open: Grieving the Loss of a Partner

When the Heart Breaks Open: Grieving the Loss of a Partner with Mindfulness and Compassion

There’s a unique ache in losing a partner—the one you shared your days with, your bed with, your inside jokes, your future plans, your quiet moments. The one who knew your rhythms and quirks, who showed up beside you in the mundane and the magical. When they’re gone, something in your world shifts entirely. It’s not just that they’re not here anymore—it’s that the we becomes me, and even your breath feels different.

Losing a partner can feel like being set adrift in your own life. And while nothing can make that pain go away, mindfulness—gentle, patient awareness—can offer small pockets of steadiness in the storm.

The Depth of This Grief

Grieving a partner isn’t linear. It’s not neat. It comes in waves, sometimes crashing, sometimes barely a ripple, but always present beneath the surface. This grief touches everything: routines, anniversaries, shared meals, the silence on the other side of the bed.

You might feel a deep longing. You might feel numb. You might swing between moments of clarity and moments you don’t know how to keep going. You might even feel angry at them for leaving, or guilty for still being here. It’s all real. It’s all allowed.

This grief isn’t just about missing a person. It’s about missing the life you had together, the way their presence shaped your sense of home, your identity, and your future.

The Invitation of Mindfulness in Grief

Mindfulness doesn’t fix grief—but it can hold it with tenderness.

To be mindful in grief is to gently turn toward your pain instead of running from it. It’s allowing yourself to feel, to soften into the present moment, even when it aches. It’s choosing presence over pressure, breath over busyness.

Here’s what that might look like:

1. Breathing Through the Waves

When the ache rises suddenly—out of nowhere, or at exactly the moment you expected—pause. Breathe. Place your hand on your heart or belly. Inhale slowly, exhale gently. Let yourself be here. Even for one breath. One breath is a beginning.

2. Letting Grief Take Up Space

You don’t have to be strong every minute. You don’t have to “move on” or get over it. Grief needs space, not solutions. Let the tears come. Let the silence be heavy. Let your heart speak in its own time.

3. Savoring the Memories—Mindfully

Not all memories bring comfort at first. But over time, with mindful attention, they can become small candles in the dark. Try sitting with a photo, a song, or a scent that reminds you of your partner. Notice the sensations. Let the feelings rise and fall without judgment.

4. Speaking to Them

Talk to them. In your heart, out loud, on paper. Tell them what hurts. Tell them what you miss. Tell them what you’re grateful for. This conversation doesn’t have to end just because they’re gone.

Compassion for Yourself

Grief is not just emotional—it’s physical, mental, spiritual. Some days you may function. Some days you may fall apart. Some days you may laugh and then feel guilty for it. This is all part of the terrain.

Be kind to yourself.
Let yourself rest.
Let yourself say no.
Let yourself feel broken.
Let yourself be loved, even in pieces.

And when the world feels like it’s moving on without you, remember: you’re not behind. You’re healing. In your own time, in your own way.

You Are Still in Relationship

Though their body is no longer here, your relationship with your partner continues. It shifts—but it doesn’t disappear. You carry their stories, their voice, their lessons, their love. You carry what you built together.

Some people find comfort in creating rituals to maintain that connection:

• Lighting a candle on special days

• Wearing something that belonged to them

• Visiting a shared favorite place

• Speaking their name

• Living a value they cherished

In these ways, they are still with you—not in the way you want, but in a way that still matters.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Loss can be isolating, especially when others don’t know what to say or when the world seems to expect you to “bounce back.” But you don’t have to carry it all alone.

Whether you need someone to walk beside you or simply witness your pain without fixing it, support is available.

💬 If your heart is aching and you're looking for a space to be held in your grief, I invite you to book a time with me [here].

🎥 Prefer to explore quietly on your own? My self-paced video training on grief and mindfulness might be the gentle companion you need right now.

You can find an introduction into Gentle Grief [here],

and a deep transformative Navigating Grief and Loss [here].

However you choose to walk this path, know this:
You are not broken.
You are not alone.
And your grief is a reflection of deep, beautiful love.

With tenderness,
Yasemin Isler

Coping With Grief: A New Morning Routine

Transform Your Mornings:

A New Routine to Embrace

Grief can be a powerful, overwhelming emotion that makes even the simplest tasks, like getting out of bed in the morning, feel like climbing a mountain. However, it's important to remember that it's okay to feel this way. Grief is a natural response to loss, and everyone experiences it differently. It's a process that cannot be bypassed, but should be witnessed with tender loving care.

If you are currently grieving, I want to suggest a different way to start your day.

This daily routine has helped many of my clients find a sense of peace they didn't think was possible during such a difficult time. They’ve found that creating a new, morning routine can bring about significant changes. It helped gain new insights and perspectives, brings new focus and energy.

This daily routine has made a difference in many people's lives, and maybe it will for you too. You can try one step at a time or all at once - the choice is entirely yours.

Remember, we all have different abled bodies, living conditions, and access to things. So, the routine may need adjusting to fit your circumstances. That's perfectly okay. The most important thing is to make it work for you.

A Four-Step Morning Routine

Here's a four-step routine that you can follow when you first wake up in the morning:

• Hydrate with Intention and Focus on the Body

Reach over to a glass of water next to your bed and sip it slowly. Hydration is crucial for your physical health, and the action can also serve as a gentle way to wake your body up.

The intentional, slow sip helps rewire the brain to focus and create familiarity with pausing.

The pause is critical, to discern our next action, and giving automaticity a well, pause.

• Breathe

• Practice focused breathing.

• Breathe in while counting to three (1-2-3).

• Breathe out while counting down from three (3-2-1).

• Repeat this pattern anywhere from three to ten times.

This exercise can help ground you and bring your thoughts back to the present.

• Connect with Nature

Rest your attention on something from nature. It could be the view out your window, a tree, the sky, the lawn, a plant in your room, or a photo or painting of a natural scene.

Nature can have a soothing, calming effect on the mind.

Allow nature to help your nervous system regulated.

• Salute the Day

Look out the window to greet the day.

On sunny mornings, close your eyes and let the sun wash over your face.

On cloudy days, watch the clouds move across the sky.

On rainy days, listen to the sound of the rain.

On snowy days, rest your attention in the stillness and silence of the snow.

On foggy days, rest your awareness on all that you can see and not see.

This is a moment to acknowledge the new day and to appreciate its beauty, regardless of the weather.

Rather than focusing on how you wish the weather would be, focus on what is here and greet it.

It is a practice in allowing what is here already, what we cannot change and to greet it.

This morning routine is intended to be a gentle, calming start to your day. It's a way to give yourself permission to refocus when your grief feels overwhelming.

So, which step would you like to try tomorrow morning? Feel free to share in the comments.

Remember, grief will take time, patience, love, and kindness.

It might feel like a heavy burden at times, but it's also an important part of the healing process. Alongside this, it's crucial to give yourself room to breathe and space to heal.

My hope is that this new routine can provide a sense of calm and spaciousness, helping you navigate your grief with a little more ease. But always remember, it's okay to reach out and ask for help when you need it. You don't have to walk this path alone.

In moments of grief, remember to allow the shift in perspective and take a pause when needed.

Remember, you're not alone in this journey.

With peace and love,

Yasemin 💚🩵

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Take my On-Demand Courses anytime, for ways to Support your Grief:

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Grief and The Ocean

Grief and The Ocean

Yasemin Isler

Dec 21, 2017

Like the waves of the ocean, waves of grief come and go.  Like water waves, they wash off the pebbles with a whoosh, whispering as they leave the shores of our hearts. To return back, yet again. Sometimes the return of the grief waves is a soft tap, other times a loud crash.

They rock our hearts in rhythm. We may be familiar with this swirling of waves coming and going from a long time ago. Or their presence may be intimately fresh from new experiences of loss and tenderness. Or, perhaps they may be our first introduction to this ocean of grief and the land of the heart.

Grief ocean, meet heart land. A united force of nature, resisted, pushed away, yet it surrounds us.

How are you in your grief journey and your grief today? Welling up? Dancing with it? Resisting it? Relaxing into it? Turning towards it just enough to know it’s there? Maybe all of the above?

What would happen if you pause and meet this grief, just enough to get to know its ebbs and flows? What happens if you open to it enough to sit with it, listen to it, hear it, feel it, then release it until the next time it flows in?

May you have ease and peace in the shores of love where the tender spots of the heart meet the waves of grief.

-       Yasemin Isler, December, 2017

A Fresh Moment

Wherever we go, we bring ourselves.